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Post by valpre1983 on Feb 26, 2011 0:34:36 GMT -5
Okay, this is an except from the last chapter of Fallen, and it's been bothering me.
Ivan saw no point in baring his feelings to Jared, because when it’s all said and done, no amount of words could ever describe his fear, the overwhelming feelings of loss and hopelessness that washed over him the moment he started entertaining thoughts of possibly existing without Riley.
or should it be
Ivan saw no point in baring his feelings to Jared, because when it’s all said and done, no amount of words could ever describe his fear, the overwhelming feelings of loss and hopelessness which washed over him the moment he started entertaining thoughts of possibly existing without Riley.
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Post by qui on Feb 26, 2011 0:43:38 GMT -5
That's a tough one.
I say "which".
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Post by valpre1983 on Feb 26, 2011 0:47:27 GMT -5
And I had "which" the first time and then I changed it to "that", but "which" def sounds better. Thanks.  |
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Post by sb on Mar 1, 2011 15:00:11 GMT -5
I wanted to tell you how much I loved the Fallen update. I was kind of worried you might take my comment the wrong way. Wonderful writing is wonderful writing, no matter what genre it is, and your work is incredible!
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Post by valpre1983 on Mar 2, 2011 0:42:36 GMT -5
Beth, no worries, I didn't take it the wrong way at all. And thanks for all your support |
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joandsarah
Admin 
Queen of the Smileys
[M0:24]The mod armed with a jar of Vegemite![ss:Coffee]
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Post by joandsarah on Mar 11, 2011 5:42:10 GMT -5
Last five chapters read -I prefer that, less cliff hangers that way.  The ending was so sad! I really thought Riley was going to get healed on that second attempt. I'm wondering if there will be repercussions on Uriah for attempting it. I was surprised by Jared, I guess the longer he stays a vampire the more he will become like the rest of them. Also I was looking forward to seeing the girls visit, it started off rocky but went better than I thought it would. Also Uriah not telling Alexis everything, bad move. Also, maybe because all the characters were stayed on longer I kept everyone straight and knew who was who. |
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Post by valpre1983 on Mar 11, 2011 6:08:20 GMT -5
Last five chapters read -I prefer that, less cliff hangers that way. The ending was so sad! I really thought Riley was going to get healed on that second attempt. I'm wondering if there will be repercussions on Uriah for attempting it. I was surprised by Jared, I guess the longer he stays a vampire the more he will become like the rest of them. Also I was looking forward to seeing the girls visit, it started off rocky but went better than I thought it would. Also Uriah not telling Alexis everything, bad move. Also, maybe because all the characters were stayed on longer I kept everyone straight and knew who was who. Wow, Jo, seeing your comment made so happy. I guess cos it's Fallen's 1st birthday today. Yep, I started this exactly a year ago, and looking back, I haven't gone far at all. Yeah, I understand about reading everything in one seating. For certain stories I prefer that too.
The ending was sad, but it had to be done, and at least they are all at peace, not only Ivan, but his clan too. Besides a few harsh words from the Guardians, no, there will be no serious recupersions as such. Yeah, the longer he stays with his clan, the more of a vampire he becomes. For both their sake, I hope the fact that they're on opposite sides won't destroy their friendship that much.
The reunion was off to a rocky start, and though they all parted on good terms, it will be a while yet before Raven completely lets down her guard where Dru's concerned.
Uriah is def in big trouble for his long list of secrets.
I'm thrilled you got all the characters right this time, and they didn't confuse you much.
Thanks for reading. |
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joandsarah
Admin
Queen of the Smileys
[M0:24]The mod armed with a jar of Vegemite![ss:Coffee]
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Post by joandsarah on Mar 11, 2011 6:56:46 GMT -5
Well happy storyversary! Hehe people who write legacies call that their legaversary so I figured yours was a storyversary. I think you have uploaded quite an amount, and it's not like it's the only story you work on. |
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Post by valpre1983 on Mar 11, 2011 8:45:45 GMT -5
Well happy storyversary! Hehe people who write legacies call that their legaversary so I figured yours was a storyversary. : LOL @ "storyversary" Sounds neat Thanks! |
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Post by valpre1983 on Mar 25, 2011 2:59:03 GMT -5
Fallen readers there will be an update this weekend YAY! |
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Post by qui on Mar 25, 2011 6:41:44 GMT -5
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jillyson
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Twozaks in Other Realms
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Post by jillyson on Mar 25, 2011 6:45:50 GMT -5
*fangirl spasm  |
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Post by valpre1983 on Mar 25, 2011 6:48:44 GMT -5
*fangirl spasm LOL, that cracked me up Jill ;D It's going to be a weird couple of updates, and I hope they'll make sense. But I won't ambush you like I did with Krisis, probably post one per week |
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holleyberry
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Post by holleyberry on Mar 25, 2011 10:11:58 GMT -5
This is the best news...EVER!  |
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Post by valpre1983 on Mar 26, 2011 12:36:56 GMT -5
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