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Post by daijahv on Mar 5, 2011 12:53:09 GMT -5
Adrian's a weirdo  Naw...that's just a man! HAHA |
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Brianna
Studious Secretary
[M0:14]Climbing one mountain at a time.[ss:Black/Purple]
Posts: 158
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Post by Brianna on Mar 5, 2011 21:19:34 GMT -5
Hahaha so true |
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Post by qui on Mar 5, 2011 21:57:39 GMT -5
I'm behind. I SWEAR I'm reading this before morning!
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Brianna
Studious Secretary
[M0:14]Climbing one mountain at a time.[ss:Black/Purple]
Posts: 158
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Post by Brianna on Mar 5, 2011 22:06:21 GMT -5
Hehe take your time  |
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jillyson
Diligent Librarian 
Twozaks in Other Realms
[M0:6]"Now where have they gone? I seem to have lost my marbles again!" [ss:Luscious Lavender]
Posts: 9,634
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Post by jillyson on Mar 6, 2011 10:44:06 GMT -5
Man, this is HOT!
I just love your style of writing - so gritty and believable from Adrian's POV.
Who IS Autumn? What does she WANT??? What's with the "J"? I can't wait to find out!
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Brianna
Studious Secretary
[M0:14]Climbing one mountain at a time.[ss:Black/Purple]
Posts: 158
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Post by Brianna on Mar 6, 2011 17:24:08 GMT -5
hehe your the first to notice the "J"  |
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Post by nygirl on Mar 7, 2011 18:44:33 GMT -5
Chapter 3:I love Autumn's boldness, maybe it's the kind of thing that will jump start him and keeping him from being such a damn chicken!
It amazes me for someone who talks to people on a daily basis with his job can be nervous around a woman...
Excellent storytelling...again with such vivid detail! Chapter 4:Sounds like they had an interesting night...
Intrigued by this trinket with a letter that doesn't belong to her initials...
I am also Intrigued as to why she is so forthcoming with a man that she barely knows...kind of throws major red flags at me.
Excellent Chapter! |
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Brianna
Studious Secretary
[M0:14]Climbing one mountain at a time.[ss:Black/Purple]
Posts: 158
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Post by Brianna on Mar 9, 2011 22:49:17 GMT -5
Thanks NYGIRL! all you guys are epic  CH 5 is now up just to infrom y'all |
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Tina ☺
Administrator 
Chillin'
[M0:42]Oh yea....bite me![ss:Black/Purple]
Posts: 21,029
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Post by Tina ☺ on Mar 9, 2011 22:59:37 GMT -5
Hey, Bri... I posted an announcement today that I guess you didn't notice: Please stop putting chapter numbers on your updates. All that is necessary is to post it has been updated and then the date because there is more than just chapter five in the thread, so it makes it confusing for others to have the chapter number on the title of thread, if you know what I mean. Wow, I just can't figure out how you guys update so quickly! lol Hopefully I will get around to reading everyone's stories one of these days. |
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Post by daijahv on Mar 9, 2011 23:23:32 GMT -5
Excellent! Wow Autumn is hot and cold...one minute she's ripping his clothes off, the next she's giving him ice cold glares and making him bend to her will. So the "J" necklace I'm assuming belongs to this Jonas guy? Her brother? She has no police record because she's never been caught? Or sweet talked (or slept her way) out of trouble? She seems like the type to use her feminine wilds to get what she wants! Look at poor Adrian! I'm also going on a limb to say the woman she met with is someone in their gang also...though a school is a weird place to meet...hmm I have to give this one more thought. Vivian sounds soo cute I'm happy she was able to provide even the slightest bit of information to Adrian. Hopefully he'll be able to find something or someone to interrogate! He is really close to finding all of the gang involved in this crime and it's so very gripping! I love every word of your story! Too amazing! I love his relationship with Marcus. It's witty and fun. Is Autumn in the house?! LOL How did she get in? Oh right, she's a thief she'd have excellent lockpick skills!! HAHA Nice! Do the words you use for the places (cities, schools) and people (gangs etc.) have meanings? I'd use a translator but I'm being lazy. And where are you from if I may ask? Great update! |
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Brianna
Studious Secretary
[M0:14]Climbing one mountain at a time.[ss:Black/Purple]
Posts: 158
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Post by Brianna on Mar 9, 2011 23:31:32 GMT -5
Ahh yes you are getting close and the woman does play a big part later on. Trust me! and I'm from America. Well Texas. haha. The names of the places come from a lot of hours spent on google. I did quite a bit of reseach so I can get the feel that they weren't no where near US soil, and I'm glad I accomplished that ^_^ Really glad you enjoyed it! and with spring break slowly approaching I will defiantly have the opportunity to add some photos Ill start with CH 1 and work my way up. but it wont be many though, so just be on the look out for that! gosh, I'm talking to much :X |
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Post by daijahv on Mar 10, 2011 0:11:06 GMT -5
LOL you're not talking enough! I can't wait to see the images, should be great! And you did an awesome job convincing me you were Norwegian LOL the way you describe everything the words and names! Great research! Gives the story such an authentic feel! Excellent job! |
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Post by qui on Mar 10, 2011 2:27:23 GMT -5
Finally caught up. I left a comment on each but they don't seem to be showing up so I'll just leave a quick rundown here. Where should I begin? First, I love how descriptive you are! I could see, feel, and hear everything! Images are definitely not needed! My heart goes out to Vernon and his sister! That's a lot to swallow as a 10 year old!
Something about Autumn rubs me the wrong way. I love the fact that she has the ability to turn Adrian, the hard cop into putty in her hands but something about her... Oh and Jonas...I guess that explains the necklace. I this deal with Autumn isn't some kind of set up. Even more, I hope she had nothing to do with that tragedy in chapter one. I won't be around here for a while but I will be reading your updates. |
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Post by valpre1983 on Mar 10, 2011 2:55:26 GMT -5
Yeah, I thought she's Norwegian too  |
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Post by daijahv on Mar 10, 2011 6:17:51 GMT -5
I'm laughing at myself as I think of her thick Texas accent in Norway! Haha! That's how great a writer you are Bri! You've fooled us all! Awesome, awesome job with the research! I am truly impressed!
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