~'ZERO'~Intro/1/2

[holleyberry]

Again i say, how did I miss this story?
Seriously Karima, I didn't know you had started writing this. I would LOVE to see more chapters. All your sims are so good looking. And I agree with everyone else, Imogen is very pretty!!!
Are you planning on writing more of this?

[jillyson]

Yeah, are you???

[Aussie Karima]

Yes, I have committed myself to finish this, in the mean time my PC had a major melt down & I lost all my CC, so that is why it has taken me so long to get back to this, I recovered a lot of CC as the hard drive also had blank/black spots or areas were CC was missing, most of my hairs were gone, but I have recovered most, the first one recovered was Imogene's hair! I re-read the story to see if it was worth continuing..........& even with the wrong grammar & mix up of past & present tense,& off course the spelling is it worth it?

~PS~ My PC was updated when it was repaired, & now has Sims 2 & 3 on it but I still need to get more Ram to complete the modification!
& CH 2 seems to have disappeared?

[joandsarah]

No it's there! Have I read that one? I'll check it after some morning coffee.

[Aussie Karima]

;D It is OK Jo, it just must be the EX as yesterday only the title page was showing the same for Val's story, as I wanted to show Aaron a poem, but only the first page loaded!

[joandsarah]

This is why I won't upload to the exchange any more! They are not to be trusted with all my hard work!

I read chapter 2. I think you have an interesting story Karima and I like the cc. But I think it needs some proof reading. I don't know if Tina could do that or not. I wish I was better at this or I would offer myself.
Zero is very likable, lol I love that shower pic. I hope he didn't promise anything too drastic!

[Aussie Karima]

Tina already offered when it first went up here, it was that bad! hey? (the grammar, etcetera!)with the new video/graphics card the pics are bad & I had another two Ch, of pics done!my pose-boxes & animation pictures refused to work (as I was having the insiminator problem!)

So I guess I will have to re-take the pics, this time with pose boxes & my fav painting & yes, Tina is going to proof read,only if she feels up to it off course!!! I have not been into that house yet as I still do not have all the CC & I know how that looks as I found my Vamps & had a look at them minus the CC surprisingly they still looked good but very different!

They were wearing test pattern jewelry it looks so funny! On finding my CC I set up folders for each house, so I have a copy, all my CC for Sims2 is in my external hard drive,

I have Sims 2 still installed when I did Nicoli's skin(which I must finish!& get a copy too you,Jo! I still need to fix the seam on the arm!I have also been looking for that OTHER tattoo)

I thought I would have to re-install because the guy that fixed my PC was not too sure if he saved it or not!(at the time he fixed it!)it was so strange doing Nicoli's skin as BS had no cc in it!& loaded very quickly! ;D

[joandsarah]

The pictures looked great!

With the grammar it's hard to explain. I'm sure Tina Grammar Professor would know the terms to use!
But I think there is something wrong with the way you are applying the speech tags. I think that's what they are called, I could be wrong! Tina told me I had plenty of grammar mistakes last chapter.

I think though it's either what you are putting after they talk, or the way it's being put. But I'm not exactly sure, only I can feel it, but I don't know how to correct it. Could be to do with the fact Zero is narrating it, maybe you are swapping tenses.

[Aussie Karima]

You get first prize, you hit the nail on the head, it is my past & present tense that are all screwy, you notice it as you read it back & someone has pointed it out(Tina!) to you! I did not do, too bad, for my first attempt?? I think being Dyslexic & having very bad grades in English do not make a very good writer, but I try, never the less!

[joandsarah]

I noticed as I read it as well, I found myself kind of skipping what was put after the speech after awhile because it kind of trips me up. Probably I am tripped up by what is there into what should be there. Really that's the only thing I notice that I would get Tina's help on.