Hallway of Dreams

[playerhaily33]

YEAH TINA!! That was an awesome point! About the Santa thing I mean. Actually, it's because of me the Aurora still believs in Santa because I mentioned the computer thing you know, about my parents coulnd't actually have bought me a new computer,and Aurora believed me. Well,I'm off to post the rest of all mtories on this site. See y'all!!

[Megan]

Oh,Haily,I think you'll be happy that I found the hair to Hallo. Here's the link to it: thesims2.ea.com/exchange/sim_detail.php?asset_id=1481248&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=sim&key=Bella

This'll get you to the hair you're looking for Hails. I have nothing better to do so i'm helping you get Hallway of Dreams back on. Just leave the searching to me Haily.

[playerhaily33]

OMG!!! MEGAN, YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!

[Megan]

You're welcome. But your purple eyes will be a problem. Other than that,Hallway of Dreams is ready to go. While you were out shopping I downloaded everything for you. Except Uncle Rob's and Aunt Patty's things. That came from the expansion pack you borrowed from your friend. So,you might need to do something about that. Anyway,congrats, you have Hallway of Dreams back. ;D

[jillyson]

Aw, You guys are such cool sisters! Haily, I read & rated your story 5 stars. I can't wait to see what's up with that boy! And why her eyes changed color!
As for a critique, there were only 3 things I found, and they were all on the first 3 pages! Lol!
pg.1) Spelling Having (you added an E)
pg.2) You originally called your girl Justice instead of Hallo (forgot to remove Justice here)
pg.3) Spelling Began with an extra E, & spelling hedges with an A.

I wish I could only find 3 mistakes in MY stories! Lol!

How great that you got a new computer! We all envy you! Sounds like you just have to borrow that game from your friend & you'll be up and running for chapter 1! I can't wait!!!

[Tina ☺]

Alright, I finally got around to reading this..lol.

Okay my first advice to you is to never say, 'This may be a bit boring' or anything like that because it will put some readers off. If YOU think it's boring, why should we take the time to read it? Anyway, I don't think it's boring at all. You have a pretty intriguing storyline going and I am interested to learn where it goes next.

Actually there are LOTS of spelling mistakes (open your eyes Jilly...lol) and several grammar mistakes. One of those is the fact that you keep slipping back and forth between present and past tenses in the same paragraph/sentence. You could benefit greatly from a proofreader.

Other than that... good job! You should definitely continue the story so as not to leave us hanging...lol. Good luck with you next chapter and all your recovered CC.

[maegnas]

Oh now I feel bad I said I would tell you about your story but I forgot about the thread, I read it though the other day ... I think my brain froze with all the rain we got lately Anyway I liked it. I wonder what will happen next. There is one thing bugging me though and it's nothing bad because I know a lot of people do that and maybe it's just me Sometimes there is no space between your sentences. For the grammar mistakes I have seen some but I'm not really better than you are Before Tina helped me I made the same kind of mistakes you did and I know I still do it (mixing past and present tense) So anyway let know when you upload the next chapter and I'll read it. Now I don't remember if I rated it ... have to check

[playerhaily33]

Sorry guys on the stupid apelling stuff. Me and my sister have the same story damages, spelling and stuff. Yeah, I hate it. When I started on Hallway of Dreams,I read my sister's story before I started Hallway of Dreams,so I got my main character which is Hallo and her main character which is Justice mixed up. It's probably going to happen until I find a proofreader.